Yes to reflect on the importance of perfection (can an ideal be reached?) and its implication for self-esteem and the need for confirmation through others is rewarding. Often, our values once had a very real base, which stems from early deep-running conflicts that imprinted our personality - and they can even be "inherited" from our ancestors, which is reflected in genetic/epigenetic expressions. When this is the case, we can actually heal a family pattern when we resolve the theme within ourselves!
What I think I read in your story is that you use your higher education to resolve (or compensate for) the family conflicts around contact and distance. It gives you self-confidence to have found your own path of connecting through the power of your mind. You know that what is lost can be recreated. The calmer this makes you, the less your body will react.