I experienced an UDIN moment about eight years ago when I was mugged in broad daylight in Cape Town. I was walking in a residential area with my mother towards the main road. There was a crossroads in front of us and a car raced across the intersection and pulled up to my right. A short strong man jumped out of the car and straight at me, he grabbed my bag and was punching me in the arm and shoulder to pull it off of me.

At that moment I completely froze and clenched my body around my bag I felt like I was out of my body and had no idea how to function or protect myself in that situation. I was screaming and shouting but it did not sound as though the noise was coming from me! At that moment there wasn't a feeling connected to the experience because I didnt feel as though it was happening to me. when I let go of my bag I chased after him and screamed a lot which felt like a huge release of energy and I felt a lot of anger.

Afterwards I noticed three men standing on the opposite street corner who had just stood there and not done anything and my mother had also just stood there and not moved. I felt very alone at that moment, vulnerable and unprotected. Even though I know the feelings were irrational, it happened so fast! I still had this feeling that my own mother is meant to take care of me.. and doesn't anyone care?

Some feelings regarding self worth came up as well especially when the policeman arrived and laughingly said that I shouldn't bother to report it as nothing will be done about it anyway... then I felt as though I had completely over reacted by shouting and fighting and should have just handed him my bag saying 'there you go! have a nice day! ' i also felt very disappointed in myself that I was unable to discharge the situation and take control of myself.

I noticed those feeling of being unsafe and unprotected, its a bit of a recurring theme aswell as the belief that I am not worthy (which I think is common for all of us!) Why would someone go out of their way for me?

The sensory cues for danger that still trigger me would be hearing running footsteps around me, it always sets me on edge.